Introducing… Ben

Tell us the basics…
I am Ben…the one with the wiener dogs and The Gay…the one who will ditch you bunch of bitches as soon as the opportunity arises for me to date-rape Bradley Cooper which is the one and only reason I’m taking three flights across the whole damn continent to get to Vegas.

In other news, I really would risk incarceration and moral dilapidation for a sexy romp with a mostly unconscious Bradley Cooper. Just try and judge me.

Also, Kelly Clarkson has tweeted me. Recognize.

Tell us about your blog…
No Ordinary Rollercoaster is the number one internet destination for the trials and tribulations of an immature, sarcastic and generally unpleasant young man who has been transplanted simultaneously into suburbia and adulthood. The top three things I blog about are:
1) Incidences (#1, #2) where we get locked out of our house without underwear on.
2) Miniature dogs whose superpowers involve defying physics and collecting mystery ailments.
3) A long-term relationship sure to result in death and/or destruction…at least ethically anyway.

Tell us all your Vegas hopes and dreams…
While Bradley Cooper is certainly on the menu, I am beyond excited for a dramatic, slow-mo-running-through-the-airport reunion with Tia. Except we probably won’t run because that’s efforty. In fact, we’ll probably just call each other from opposite sides of the terminal and debate who should walk to whom.

We’re also considering telling the hotels and restaurants that we’re honeymooning so we can get free stuff.

Oh right. And if I don’t get to see Cher perform at Caesars while we’re there, I’m hunting down every single one of you and your families. Trust.

Here are my rules for Vegas.
1) Do not do anything that results in wasting an entire day spooning the toilet. That would be soooo July 1, 2009.

2) Maintain strict compliance to the buddy system because if I’m going down, Tia’s coming with me.

3) Lions are not toys.

4) Posh Spice Protocol: do not eat, smile or sweat in front of the cameras.

5) If I’m going to wake up naked next to a stranger, it should probably be Maxie just because I can be sure it’ll make an awesome story when we figure shit out.

Ooo, and link us to your favorite YouTube video!
Here.
‘Nuff said.

Want to know more? Follow Ben on Twitter (@Bboudreau)!